Why Funerals Matter

Every day Pellows funeral directors offer care and compassion to people at a difficult time in their lives. We understand that dealing with the loss of a loved one can be one of the hardest things someone will ever experience, which is why it is so important to be given the opportunity, the time and the support to grieve.

Funerals play a very important role in helping us to cope with our grief. They are for the living – they provide us with an opportunity to say our goodbyes, to be with people to give and receive support and to reflect and share the memories of the life of someone we have lost that mattered to us.

When someone we love dies, the funeral is not for them, it’s about them. The funeral is for everyone who knew, loved and was connected to that person.

At Pellows Funerals we have helped many families to ensure the farewell for a loved one is a true reflection of who the person was and what they meant to others. This can be represented in many different ways and can include personal touches, wishes, a special colour, music, a theme or holding the service in a special place. Whatever it means to you, the farewell you create provides a meaningful, relevant, unique and special way to say your goodbye.

Importantly, funerals are about good grief – they help to get the grief moving so that it doesn’t get stuck inside.

Researchers and psychologists are very clear in their message about funerals and grief; participating in a funeral helps to counter the initial effects of grief like shock, numbness and disbelief. Funerals underpin a necessary part of grieving as they reinforce the reality that the death has actually happened.

We need to allow our grief to surface, and a funeral provides a safe and appropriate place to show and share our feelings with others, which set the foundation for ‘good grief’ or healthy grieving. The funeral allows us to be real about how we feel and can help us say; “Thank you.” “I love you.” “I’m lonely without you.” “I’ll always remember you.” “You meant a lot to me.”

Funerals are for support both for you but also for those that attend. They are seen as the right time and place for people who cared about your loved one to be together to talk, to support each other, to reminisce and tell stories, to pay their respects, to let you know that they care about you. It provides others with an opportunity to let you know they care and is a safe place for expression of their feelings.

Having support around you at this very difficult time, and in the weeks and months after the funeral when the reality of the loss really starts to sink in, is vital as we have to adapt to a life without someone who mattered to us.